Bedtime stories - She Knows Her Mind |
By Viji Bellie
On that particular day, my mind was not in the place where it should have been. My morning brisk hours were not good hours as my mind was complicating everything and time was being wasted with my inability to control it. Four of us, myself and my husband and my two daughters who were ten and five years old were wasting the precious morning hours, yelling at each other because it was already late.
On that particular day, my mind was not in the place where it should have been. My morning brisk hours were not good hours as my mind was complicating everything and time was being wasted with my inability to control it. Four of us, myself and my husband and my two daughters who were ten and five years old were wasting the precious morning hours, yelling at each other because it was already late.
I have to come out of this mind-set first, I thought
to myself. I was a home maker. I could relax later where as my husband and
daughters were in a position to start their office time and school time with a positive
mood. My husband was the technical manager in a private textile mill. His boss had
a good faith on him. My husband's roles were crucial in his company. He was to
be in a position of balanced mindset with no unwanted oscillations in it. Definitely
it would affect the employees of the concern and their performances. But I was
proud to accept this fact that compared to me, my husband's tolerance was and
is, always at a greater height.
Grumbling a little, I got them ready for their respective
roles ahead but with a little delay. My husband tried his best to bring some
cheers on my daughters' faces, "Darling girls! As to-day is our grand
father’s second death anniversary, the thoughts of our grand dad seems to be on
her mind. She misses her loving dad so much as we do. So she is unable to get
us ready in time. But you see! We are here to help each other and bring some
cheers to each other. All right! As you missed your school bus, I will
accompany you to your school. Today evening I will turn up earlier and we shall
go to the park where we all are going to enjoy with our favourite ice-creams. Now
hug your mother and get ready to leave for school." The girls hugged me
and walked out of the door. Then my husband gave me a hug and they were off to
their respective places.
By evening I tried my best to come back to normalcy, but
I was not able to do so. Later my husband turned up earlier (he had availed
special permission to come home early) and we all went to a nearby restaurant
and had our coffee with our favourite snacks. We reached the park. We decided
to have our ice-cream later and my daughters went to play with some of the
children in the park. As I was looking around blankly, my husband took my hands
into his, "Darling! Really this big loss of our good and close relation is
painful to the core. Your dad had been a good father -in-law to me too. As
death is a horrible truth we have to survive the loss in one way or the other. I
know you will miss your dad for your life time. But at the same time you think
about your mom's position. Nearly forty years they had been together with such
an intimacy and mutual respect. But she has been trying her best to cover up
all her pains and tries her best to make up that heavy loss for the sake of you
and your siblings. She always says "Here I am for your needs. Learn it
from her."
During our hard times, supportive company is really
a boon. Even then I was unable to recover back my normalcy. All through the
evening my daughters seemed to be watching me. We had ice-creams and came back
home. By the time we reached home, it was time for dinner and bed. That night, my
daughters were waiting for me for the usual bed time story. But on that day I
didn't feel like telling any such story. I fell on the bed. My daughters, my
angels settled on my either side. Elder one said, "Mom! I would like to
ask you one thing. Shall I?” I turned to her with an exhausted tone, "Go
ahead."
"Mom! I think at present, your terms with God
are not good." With shock and surprise I raised my head. She continued, "You
told me in a bed time story, when I was in my first standard that once a small
child was in a good rapport with God. The pleased God appeared before him to
grant his wish.
The child said ,"God! My only wish is to be with you
always."
God said, "You are always with me, my child!"
The child said, "I would like to know your presence
always."
God said, "All right! Whenever and wherever you go, you alone
can spot my foot prints along with yours."
The child was so happy and he became more faithful to God
day by day. Even when he became older, he could spot the God's foot prints along
with his foot prints. One day suddenly he couldn't spot the God's foot prints. He
became so sad.
He prayed to God and asked him. "God you promised to be with
me all through my life. But now I could find only my foot prints. Did you leave
me?”
God said, "Look at the ground carefully, my child. The foot
prints on the ground are not yours. They are mine. As you are old now, you are unable
to walk. So I am taking you in my safe hands and I am helping you to continue
your journey."
My elder daughter, still
sitting close to me told, "Mom! You told me if we are good, we can also
sense God's guidance and His help which will always come along with us like
those God's foot prints. More over if someone is really good, they go to the
safe hands of God. So naturally our grand father must be in the safe hands of
God. He was a good man. Whenever we visited our native place he took us and our
cousins to various picnic places and offered us a variety of fruits and sweets
which are not available here. He taught us and our cousins many fun games. He
made us understand that fighting among ourselves was not good. Being together
is only good. So you must be happy and not sad as our loving grand father is in
the safe hands of God."
Hearing this version of my
daughter, I understood that we cannot reverse death. The loss of a loved one is
indeed painful and creates a void in our hearts. But I knew what my daughter
said was also true. The knowledge that my father was in his safe heaven was
comforting to me. The story that I once narrated to my daughters as kids, was
given back to me when I needed it badly.
I realised how powerful bedtime stories were. They inculcate strong
values in tender minds which last for their lifetime. I hugged my angel
daughters to my heart and cried silently with relief.
Image credit: Freedigitalphotos
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