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| Relationships - She Knows Her Mind |
By Scindhia Hallan
Relationships are the lifeline to a wholesome life. To build a
true relationship is a huge task in itself. Sustaining it through the years is
totally another story. But at the end of the day, where would we be if we
didn’t have people to love, yell at, play, dance, cry and call out during a
crisis? We are all linked in the universe bound by the laws of nature. Only we
are either too short sighted to see the actual picture or too arrogant to
realize that we all need relationships to survive. That’s why we find many aged
people bend a little in a relation than break the entire relationship for they
know how the system works.
Make a choice
How would life be if we alone existed with a lot of luxuries but
no one to enjoy it with? In many cases, it shows a side to us that we didn’t
even know existed. For instance, do we behave the same way with friends as we
do within a family? Is the relationship between two siblings similar to a
parent-child relationship? The answer: its not. And that’s where exactly the
fun is. Deciphering the relationship and understanding it is key. Accepting or
not is a choice. Do we make the right choices all the time and stick with the
right relationships? The answer again: no. But life itself is gracious enough
to give us a chance – a chance to know where we went wrong, a chance to correct
it, a chance to mend ways or a chance for new beginnings. But we must be ready
to take that chance that is handed out to us. Make wise choices even if
you have missed making them the first time.
Create love
When we love ourselves sufficiently we have excess to give out to
others. When we have sufficient love for our own family, it then extends to the
close relatives, then the distant relatives and finally the society. Learn to
love yourself unconditionally first. Then move onto the next stage. Start with
a friendly smile. Your small kindness gestures might mean the world to someone
else. Don't hesitate to spread love within the known circle or to a complete
stranger. Believe in random acts of kindness. The world has a system of Karma
that works in mysterious ways. Believe in miracles and that the greatest
miracle of all is love. When your thoughts about the people around you are
positive, you will attract those people towards you more deeply. The
connections take time, but they will surely happen. Relationships are like a
security check in a lot of ways. Not only it gives us an inner strength to know
that so many people love us at so many levels, it also establishes the fact
that we are never truly alone. There will always be somebody to guide us when
we are confused or in need.
Give and Take
True relationships take an awful lot of time and effort to
build. It trains our heart, softens or sometimes hardens our emotions. But once
built, they last till the end of time guarding us all through the ups and downs
of life. Be it money or love, you receive what you give out. Why should a
relationship be any different? Like all the good things in life, building and
maintaining relationships is hard work. Healthy 'give and take' will make it
strong. Taking comes naturally to us, but giving must be trained. Are we giving
more than we take? Do we even consciously monitor that difference? It is easy
to overlook something that comes our way with very little effort. It is human
nature to be fixated on things that are hard to get. But giving more is the
only way a relationship will survive and it applies to both the parties.
Learning to overlook minor differences and getting together to celebrate solid
similarities go a long way in making a bond.
Accept the whole
Every relation is unique and special in its own way. Even
friendship is not the same. The way we behave with one friend is totally
different from the way we behave with another. Each relationship is
a recipe. Remember that we cannot live on one taste alone. We need sugar
(sweet memories), chillies (big fights), pepper(small tiffs),
salt(unconditional love) and all other ingredients to make one tasty
meal. A relationship that has shared the smiles and has weathered the storms
will learn to be patient. A relationship is at its best when the other person
learns to accept you for who you are and loves you for what you mean to him or
her. By acceptance, I do not mean the mere acceptance of the positive side. It
should the acceptance of that person as a whole and the ability to love someone
even with all their faults. Expectations, fun, smiles, tears, disappointments,
fears all come together here. But both of them involved have to make an effort
to keep the ball rolling. No one person alone can make a relationship
successful. As they say you need two to tango.
Invest
I wonder why they call it investing in a
relationship. It sounds more business like, isn’t it? But when you look at it
closely ‘invest’ is such a powerful word. You have to gradually put in all the
things that mean so much to you in the relationship to make it strong and
worthy. True relationships are uncovered in extreme situations most of the
times. In happier times all seem good to us. But how many of relations come
forward to help us or lend a shoulder during distressed times? Working on a
relationship is a conscious effort. The biggest not to say fatal mistake we all
easily make is to take things for granted. It is too precious to be taken for
granted. What does taking for granted mean actually? When you are more ‘taking’
in a relationship than ‘giving’. Such a passive relation in the long term
becomes stale and ends up breaking more than one heart. Love is special; while
unconditional love is extraordinary and few and far between. Those are the ones
that you should make an additional effort to celebrate and cherish.
Be Grateful
The most underrated key value in a relationship is gratitude.
Think of all those who have touched your lives positively in some way or the
other. Be thankful for their love and support. Gratitude keeps us grounded. It
spreads love and happiness automatically. It builds goodwill in your personal
account. Most importantly be vocal about your gratitude. Saying thank you is
one of the basic manners we teach our kids. But how many of us as adults really
follow it? Start saying thank you aloud and you will start seeing a lot of
positive people around you.
The Two-way street
Understanding a relationship is the basic part of
building it. Appreciating the relationship is a mature way of looking at it. We
need people and people need us. That’s the basic truth. To be rich in
relationships is a blessing, for you will have the greatest contacts and the
strongest network of protection around you. A good relationship is a two way
street which is open to love and healthy debates from both the directions for a
long time to come.
How to keep the ball rolling?
- Call that close friend/relative whom you have been meaning to but
never called
- Write that letter to your grandparents in your hometown
- Send a thank you for being such wonderful parents card to your
parents
- Tell your brother/sister how much you love him/her
What are your thoughts about this topic?
Do you have an even better idea to celebrate a relationship. Let
me know by commenting on this article!
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