Five questions you should never ask an IAS aspirant

IAS Aspirant - She Knows Her Mind

By Scindhia Hallan

My sister is an IAS aspirant. For all those who are unaware, the UPSC exams are one of the toughest exams in the nation. It is so tough, that you actually get seven attempts to clear the examination - Yes you heard it right - Seven! My sister has already exhausted four but she refuses to budge from her dream of becoming an IAS officer.

First of all, I want to kick people who show that the process of becoming an IAS officer ridiculously easy in cinemas. Look at the movie Suryavamsam where in one scene the heroine decides to become an IAS and the next scene the heroine gets down from the train as a BAM!! IAS officer. In case you mistake her for somebody else, she has the tell tale bun and too-large glasses as she gets down from the train. Not to forget the stiff , I-refuse-to-wrinkle-cotton sari. The only person stiffer than her cotton sari would be the hero who proudly receives his now 'IAS' qualified wife. And to top it all, it all happens within one incredulous song. There is another song where the hero becomes a do-gooder-millionaire-turned-businessman. But that requires a separate blog post (I would not do justice to that by merely mentioning his success in passing.) In addition to it, it is totally irrelevant to the struggles of an IAS aspirant.

Movies have always exaggerated facets of real life or totally deviated from them. Otherwise who would want to watch their own boring lives on larger screens? Look at the movie Citizen where Nagma is portrayed as a district collector and  a strict one at that. But what I do not understand is why does she dress in pants in all other desk job scenes yet chooses to dress in a sari when she is actually chasing  a criminal? She cannot even hold her gun properly as her cotton sari is waging its own battle against the wind.

I have lost count of movies which show an unreal side to this whole IAS episode. If you ask my sister she would roll  her eyes (if she hadn't gotten her eyes glued to her eyebrows with all the rolling already). I have seen my sister toil night and day for her dream - face hardships that I don't think I ever would have handled. I just want to kick these movie personas who make IAS seem like just another job. So I have decided to write about things that never should be directed towards an IAS aspirant. 

When are you getting married?

Marriage in our society is not a choice but a necessity to survive only next to food, clothing an shelter. (Yes Maslow! you were wrong about your theory of need hierarchy. It does not apply to Indians.We do not want love, Marriage would suffice.) I have seen people forcing my sister to get married all the time. If not for my parents (not that she needed their protection) and her own sheer patience to handle idiots and will power to plough ahead, she would have been flooded with proposals and not even good ones while we are talking about it.

How will you become an IAS officer if you still waste time going to the gym?

Yes, she works out, people. What is wrong in it? She wants to be fit and alert in a world where threat is always imminent. How many ladies can confidently say that they have never faced any form of harassment? And what is the reaction when we are faced with one? To run in the opposite direction or silently suffer in pain. How many of us actually face the threat head on? And to face it, what do we need? Stamina and courage. And for people who can't understand, this is where fitness comes in.And Gym is a place where they train you to be fit.

Why are you playing the guitar when you should be studying?

Since when is not playing the guitar a determining factor for becoming an IAS officer? Guitar is her passion and hobby. How can a person study non-stop just because they have decided to pursue one of the most challenging exams in the nation. If its her means of relaxation after a gruelling day, let her be. In fact, I personally think she is spending her time better with  her guitar than answering unreasonable people all the time. If only her music can chase such people off. But she plays really well!

How many attempts are you going to make?

Short answer: None of your business.

Long answer: As long as I take to achieve what I want.

Even better: Why should I answer?

Here is my sister busting her ass chasing something that is so near yet so elusive. Good sensible people encourage her to never give up on her dreams But those people are so rare. What she has to deal with (and I'm talking about every single day) is the vast majority of judgmental-gossiping-exaggerating-questioning crowd who do not know the I from the A from the S of the IAS. What do you answer such people who have made demeaning you their life's mission? Maybe she should have reminded them: As long as I do not make an attempt to extinguish your miserable life, you need not worry about my OTHER attempts.

She has only limited choices here:

Pretend they do not exist. But they are like that irksome flies which even if you pretend doesn't exist come and sit on your food no matter how many times you shoo them away.

Ignore such people. Now here is a theoretical suggestion which is highly impractical because she has to operate with such people all the time. From freshers joining her institute who have no goddamn idea what they are getting into to the ever scrutinizing relatives who bombard her with burning family issues like marriage and cost to her family and she being a girl should not aim too high!

Now that brings me to the dumbest question on the list:

You are a girl. How long do you think you have?

Of all the excuses this gender excuse is the most detested by my sister and by me. What has being  a girl got to do with a million things in this country is above and beyond my average brain. My brain says, to get something you have to work hard and not lose focus. But the society says, you need to have a moustache or a beard or atleast balls to achieve what you want. Unless what you are trying to achieve is to look like a male, I do not agree or rather I agree with the last point purely in a figurative sense. And again why is there a time constraint on her just because she is a girl? What is she racing against? And what has she ever done to these mindless morons to judge her so. 

Now I think you are getting my drift. huh? Just leave such aspirants alone before their dreams die of asphyxiation from your mind numbing thoughts. They are better off preparing to take on the world than answering or even thinking about issues that recklessly pull them back from their ambitions.